Category Archives: parenting

Links to Think: 14.07.07

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Less-structured time in children’s daily lives predicts self-directed executive functioning” – Frontiers in Psychology recently released this article on research that confirmed what many parents (and what parents of other generations and cultures) are recognizing to be true: kids with free time eventually are better able to set and make their own goals. (For a slightly less academic, slightly more summarized report of this study, see the article, “Kids whose time is less structured are better able to meet their own goals, says CU-Boulder study.

“Why do young children often forget (or outright refuse) to put on a coat before leaving the house on a snowy day? The choice to put on a jacket may seem frustratingly obvious to parents and older siblings, but this simple decision arises from a surprisingly complex interplay of behaviors. Children must keep in mind a goal (staying warm and dry) that is not yet relevant in the comfort of a warm house. They must inhibit the urge to proceed with a regular sequence of tasks (put on socks and shoes and head out the door), and instead modify their routine to include something new (pulling a coat from the closet). Unless someone intervenes, this change in the status quo must be accomplished without any external reminders (a visible coat, or a well-timed reminder from a caregiver). (more…)


Reading 2014: Smart Money, Smart Kids

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For many parents of Millenials, there were two topics which were simply verboten subject material for discussion with their progeny: money and sex.

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Links to Think: 14.06.30

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15 Tips for the Highly Sensitive Parent – As a high-testing HSP whose senses are particularly heightened during pregnancy, especially being home with my kids almost all day, I can definitely identify with this article. I’ve focused on trying to manage the areas of touch, sight, sound, and mind, but haven’t really focused on taste and smell. Many of the suggestions listed in other areas have definitely helped me avoid slipping into insanity. :)

“I took the short self-test created by Dr. Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person, and checked off 22 out of 27 statements indicating that a person is highly sensitive. Twenty-two! And so I began sleuthing out approaches to life that would allow me to create coping mechanisms so that my days weren’t filled with constant frustration from overstimulation.

I soon discovered, however, that while a lot of the suggested coping techniques for highly sensitive people were truly helpful, they also included advice that simply isn’t possible in the reality of parenting small children. Directives like “make sure to get enough sleep” and “avoid chaotic environments” aren’t practical for me. (more…)


Mamas, Don’t Wait for a Tragedy…

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With great frequency, our news and social media remind us of the tragedies that are all too common in this broken, fallen world. My Facebook feed is weekly filled with the news of another injury, another illness, and even the death of children.

For those of us with children, on earth or in heaven, our hearts share a special ache for these parents, both for our friends, family, and acquaintances and for the stranger with whom we unite in sorrow as we read of their loss. A few of us have even entered into being the main subject of such tragedies.

It’s not uncommon to respond to such news by noting that we are going to hold our babies tighter tonight as we sorrow with those who are grieving.

But here’s a gift to us all:

Mamas, you don’t have to wait for a tragedy to give yourself permission to rock your baby to sleep. You don’t have to wait for a tragedy to hold your little one close and give thanks for the time you have together. (more…)


Reading 2014: How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm

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Mei-Ling Hopgood’s How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm: And Other Adventures in Parenting (from Argentina to Tanzania and everywhere in between) is a fascinating drive-by glimpse of parenting in other cultures.

At present, I don’t exactly typify American parenting or own the accessories that go along with it: my babies sleep with me through toddlerhood, I have never fed my babies formula or infant cereal, I purposefully start my babies out sleeping on the their tummies, breastfeed through toddlerhood, and don’t get upset when my one-year-old is still nursing (and not “sleeping through”) at night. My now two-year-old has never used or owned a crib, a swing or bouncer, a bottle or pacifier (other than a few pacis he’s hijacked from others), or an infant carseat (no worries-we used a convertible safe from 6 pounds and up).  The list could go on, but I’ll probably scare (American) people if I do. 😉

While many of my practices of parenting have evolved from combining a growing knowledge of infant development (including a Biblical framework of such) with trying to read and understand each of my individual children, I’ve also realized that by looking outside of my normative, culturally specific parenting “mandates,” I’m able to see that the black and white we often impose on our own parenting culture isn’t necessarily a true requirement for raising a healthy baby, as much as we want people to believe or attempt to scare them into practicing.

In fact, sometimes often, it’s the opposite! :) And thus, as a lover of anthropology, sociology, and biology specifically applied to parenting, I found this book absolutely fascinating. While it does differ in both approach and dogmatism from a book such as Bringing Up Bebe, it certainly doesn’t qualify as an academic-level cultural parenting survey; nor is it as scientific as a book like Our Babies, Ourselves. It is filled with a lot of research and resources, and is a great way to whet one’s appetite for more in-depth studies of parenting and child development within specific cultures.

Looking at parenting through the lens of another culture is a good way to highlight what aspects of our own parenting practices are cultural; but it is also to see what practices are, to some degree, instinctively human, and common across many cultures (although some may be lacking within cultures here and there, including our own, at times).

Hopgood is herself a parent, with a rather large amount of multi-culturalism mixed in among both her immediate and extended family. That is the springboard for this conversation, but it extends far beyond the realm of her personal experience. The author uses comprehensive research along with the anecdotal experiences of a number of acquaintances and family members to dissect some of the key parenting practices of a rather diverse cultural smorgasbord: from Argentina, to the overly-referenced French parenting, to Kenya, Lebanon, Tibet, and many other countries.

Of course, the lens through which we view all other cultures (and how we read this book) depends greatly upon the place in which we ourselves our standing. As C.S. Lewis poignantly inserted this bit of wisdom into The Magician’s Nephew, ““What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are.” This is true for the reader and author alike.

If you’ve never considered how parenting differs around the world and learned to appreciate such differences, this is a great introduction; yet, if you are already fascinated by cultural diversity and cross-pollinating that to parenting, you’ll also find this book a helpful resource and fascinating read.

Table of Contents

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