To the Mamas of Littles During the Holidays – I love the advice offered here, and it’s applicable to seasons beyond just the holidays, too!
“Dear Young Mama Of Tiny People,
I hear you in the bathroom, locked behind the door and trying to unwrap a piece of chocolate with shaky fingers. I see you on Instagram, admitting where you failed and showing us your sad eyes and the crumbs in your hair. I read your Facebook status, the one where you can’t figure out how to get everything done with the little people under foot.
Oh, honey. I hear ya.
If you had time, I’d pet your hair and ply you with coffee and speak in soothing tones. But you’re short on time these days and I know those holidays are looming large on your calendar. You’ve got lists a mile long of obligations and cute things you pinned on Pinterest to do for your tiny people.
And that’s really sweet of you. You’re a good mama who is anxious to make good memories for her people and to celebrate with her loved ones. Well done, you!
But lemme put it to you straight: Do. Less. Stuff.
Lower your expectations for what is humanly possible in one day. Now think about how many toddlers you have and lower them again.”
“If it makes you yell, it’s a No. Every time. Gotta take food to X place and know that you will end up screaming while you cook? “No, I can’t right now. We will swing by and pick up a bucket of chicken.”
“You can apologize for showing up with the grocery store cupcakes if you want, but you don’t have to say you’re sorry for choosing your kids and your sanity over perfectly piped buttercream icing. You know what? The lady at the bakery can pipe buttercream beautifully, too, but she can’t read Thomas the Train with the proper voices like you can. Everybody at the party knows that. So apologize if you want. But you don’t have to say you’re sorry for choosing wisely.”
The Supersized American Turkey – Now that Thanksgiving is over and your turkey dinner has been digested, you can read this.
“Along the way, they also tried to create chicken-turkey hybrids by inseminating chickens with turkey semen and vice versa. It didn’t work, but their dream sort of lives on in the form of the turducken.”
“A faster growing bird that converts feed more efficiently into breast meat helps drive down costs for farmers. Their DNA, transformed over decades, is doing the work.
The point is: The turkeys of 2013 are not the same beasts that anyone’s grandmother ate as a child. They’ve been precision engineered by several generations of scientists and corporations to deliver more and more marketable product at lower and lower cost.
In other words: turkeys are a (delicious) glory of late capitalism.”