With a rather interesting title, Duct Tape Parenting: A Less Is More Approach to Raising Respectful, Responsible & Resilient Kids, also presents some interesting and helpful approaches to parenting.
Duct tape, in the case of this book, is what parents should be using on themselves to keep themselves from always jumping in to rescue, intervening, or interfering. Vicki Hoefle advocates treating children with respect and giving them responsibility, but also for allowing them space and time for problem-solving and conflict resolution to be done on their own.
Sometimes, there is a personal danger to parents reading these types of books. Parents often get excited about implementing the methods in the book, but can occasionally drive too hard, jump in “cold turkey,” or try to make too many changes at once. Worse, they may hold themselves and/or their children to a higher standard than is initially feasible. In that way, this type of book can offer a glimmer of hope that is eventually buried under a wave of discouragement. Although this book may work to shift paradigms for some parents, it’s important to remember that people are involved in the transition to different methods, and transitions take time and patience.
Primarily, this book deals with parenting children beyond infancy through kindergarten ages, though there is definitely parenting wisdom and counsel with working with children in their earliest years. To me, there were points that seem harsher than fits my parenting philosophy, particularly with parenting the younger ages.
At the same time, this was a great reminder on how giving my children responsibility and empowering them through my trust in their capabilities can be a source of great growth and opportunity for my family. There are also a number of specific examples and strategies given in the book as anecdotes that we’ve successfully implemented with our children.
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