links reflections

Links to Think: 02.18.12

February 18, 2012

How to Respond to News of a Miscarriage – Laura Ziesel writes helpful advice:

“All too often, after all sorts of losses, we want to respond with words of comfort. We want to help people understand that God is in control or that their loved one is in a better place. But, as my friend who lost his third child to miscarriage last year wrote, these words can actually be quite hurtful. As he said, “People feel the need to turn bad news into good news.” Resist that temptation. Let the bad news be bad.
The best thing to do is simply to affirm the grief. Miscarriage is a silent, hidden loss. I would guess that millions of women have experienced miscarriages completely alone, without another soul in the world ever knowing.”
“But above all, don’t try to tie up their grief with a bow and make it pretty. Let it be ugly, because it is.”
HT: Seemingly Random, a real-life friend who has also written helpful thoughts on the subject as she experiences her own grief.

What Lack Of Sleep Does To Your Spirit – This excellent Huffington Post piece summarizes and elaborates many of the lessons I’ve been learning about rest over the last couple of years.

“The need for sleep chal­lenges our obses­sion with con­trol. Sleep forces us to let go. So much is beyond our con­trol while we sleep. We can’t check our e-mail or Face­book; we can’t make trans­ac­tions; we can’t make con­nec­tions or plans; we can’t even think about doing anything.

Sleep con­fronts us with our lim­i­ta­tions. Instead of acknowl­edg­ing our needs and lim­i­ta­tions sim­ply as part of life on this planet, we recoil at the slight­est whiffs of vul­ner­a­bil­ity. Part of our dis­dain of our own and oth­ers’ aging bod­ies, with our grow­ing need for recov­ery time and rest, is a fail­ure to come to terms more broadly with human fini­tude and depen­dency. We pump our bod­ies full of stim­u­lants, shirk off sleep, bow to the mer­ci­less gods of pro­duc­tiv­ity and fancy our­selves invincible.

The sev­enth day in the Gen­e­sis account of cre­ation speaks to this truth, as Sab­bath rest is deemed a holy part of the whole cre­ation. In Gen­e­sis, even God rests. When we scorn sleep, we get out of tune with the rest of cre­ation, play­ing a dis­si­dent and for­eign countermelody.

Sleep is not for the weak; it is for the mortal. When we seek to defy our human finitude by overriding sleep, we harm not only our own bodies but also the broader community. Our constant striving, our unrelenting production and consumption, gives no one else room for rest either — not the land and not its laborers.”

10 ways to have a horrible first date if you’re a Christian. – Jon Acuff writes at Stuff Christians Like. This isn’t deep or thought-provoking, just funny. #6 made me laugh out loud. For reals. The rest are funny, but this one takes the cake:

6. Tell them your love language is ferrets.
Owning ferrets, breeding ferrets, racing ferrets in a small ferret-sized version of the Kentucky Derby. Not words of affirmation. Not quality time. Ferrets.

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